The Prodigal Son and Stuff

Alright, so today we're going to dive into Luke 15:11-31. It's commonly referred to as the Parable of the Prodigal Son. I'm sure if you've been in church for even just a short time, you've heard a sermon or two preached on it. Most of the time, the entire sermon is focussed on how we shouldn't be like the prodigal son and all that jazz. Obviously that's a good teaching to follow but there's so much more in this passage that we can learn.

Instead of posting a whole twenty verses, I'll summarize it shortly. There was a man with two sons. One day the younger of the two goes to his dad and is like "Yo. Give me my half of the inheritance. I'm peacing out." - Okay quick history lesson here. In that time and culture, telling your father that you wanted your inheritance while he was still alive was the equivalent of saying "I wish you were dead." - So the dad gave him his half of the inheritance and homeboy was like "bye felicia" and went off to some foreign country and started living like a hooligan. He spent all of his money on partying and prostitutes and then as soon as his money runs out, a famine hits the country that he's living in. So homeboy is out of money, stuck in a foreign country, and there's no food. He goes off and gets a job feeding pigs for some random farmer and it got to the point where he was so hungry that he would look at the food that the pigs were eating (Which is absolutely disgusting. Like google pig slop to see how nasty it looks) and wanted to eat it. Finally he comes to his senses and is like "What the heck my dad's servants have more than enough to eat. I'll just go tell him to hire me as one of his servants because I don't deserve to be his son anymore." So he starts his journey back home. And even while he was still awhile from home, his dad saw him and picked up his robe and RAN to his son and embraced him. - Another history lesson here. In that time and culture, letting people see your ankles was a no no and men over the age of twenty-five didn't run. It was scandalous.- The son was all like "Dad, I've messed before God and you and I don't deserve to be your son anymore. " Before homeboy could finish, the dad told the servants to prepare a huge banquet in celebration of his son coming home. The dad got him new clothes and there was a crazy awesome party because homeboy was back home. You're probably wondering what happened with the older son. I haven't mentioned him in a bit. Well fear not, dear readers, I will enlighten you. The older son was out working in the fields (because apparently this family lived on a farm) and heard the party going on and was like "What on earth is going on?" So he asked a servant about all the commotion and the servant promptly informed him that it was a celebration in honor of his wayward brother coming home. So big brother got all frustrated and went to his dad and was like "I've worked hard for you all my life and have never rebelled. You've never celebrated me. Homeboy went off and wasted his inheritance and you kill the fattened calf (had a frickin' awesome barbecue) for him!" The dad gently reminded big brother "Son, you are always with me and everything that I have is yours. It's only right to celebrate because you're brother was dead and is alive again. He was lost and now is found."

Alright story time over. Let's dig into this. I think it's pretty obvious who the "prodigal son" represents, us. I also think it's obvious that the Father is a representation of God. Most of the time when we hear this passage being preached on, the pastor or whoever stops after the prodigal comes home and Daddy throws the party. BUT THEY LEAVE OUT HOMEBOY BIG BROTHER. Alright I'll try to dissect this some for ya.

We are the prodigal son. We have rebelled against God the Father. We squandered our lives away on sinful temporary things. We are the lost cause. And God is the Father that doesn't care about the scandal but about the scandalous (us.) God is the one who picked up the hem of His robes and ran to us in our brokenness. God did the unthinkable to bring us back into His glorious presence and family. We were the dead and now living. We were the lost that were found. I think that's obvious.

But so many times we allow ourselves to be the older brother, especially we who have been believers for awhile. For years I only read up to the celebration. I finished when Dad was like "Yo throw a party." But recently I read the end and was like "Oh my gosh. I am the older son" and I wasn't happy with that realization. So many times we become bitter with new believers because they are so on fire and everyone is celebrating them. I think we (not all of us, maybe just me) feel like God loves them more to us. Like all of the angels in heaven are celebrating this new member of the family who was some heathen and we who have been faithful and true for years aren't getting any recognition at all. I've found myself in that place so many times recently. I feel so unappreciated by God (obviously I don't need to be appreciated because anything good I do is through HIS strength, not my own.) We lose focus on the fact that it's not about us. It was never about us. It's about HIM and HIS grace and HIS gospel. Bitterness comes from focussing on ourselves and what we think we deserve. Don't allow bitterness take hold in your heart. Focus on the Father. Celebrate with the ones brought home. There is no room for bitterness and resentment in the Kingdom of God.

Joy.

     These two words have been resounding in my heart almost nonstop lately. This last week has been difficult. It's been as if I was in a battle with life and every time I got up from being knocked down, life would knock my feet out from under me again. I've been so emotionally drained and exhausted but deep within my heart, I've kept hearing the Lord sweetly remind me to "rejoice always."

     According to dictionary.com, rejoice means "to be glad; to take delight." I kept wondering "How can I be glad when life keeps kicking me in the dirt?" It's hard to be glad when you feel like you can't even breathe and you just need rest. But then it hit me. Joy isn't always synonymous with happy. While happiness is circumstantial, joy is a choice. Joy is looking at the brokenness that surrounds you and acknowledging that it's there but still choosing to delight in who the Lord is, who He says you are, and His plans for you. In my own strength, I see myself as defeated, empty, and unworthy to serve the Lord. In the joy of the Lord (which strengthens us!) I see that I am anointed, equipped, and made worthy by the finished work of Jesus. 

     So even though I FEEL defeated because of my circumstances, I KNOW that I am victorious because of what Christ has done and I have been adopted into the Kingdom of the Most High God and because of that I will rejoice always.

The Good Portion

"Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to His teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to Him and said, ‘Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.’ But the Lord answered her, ‘Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion which will not be taken from her.’"

- Luke 10:38-42

Tonight I flipped open my Bible for the first time in months and ended up in Luke 10. I’ve read this passage so many times and have heard so many sermons preached on it. For most of my life, I saw myself as Mary, just absorbing every little thing that Jesus said to me. But tonight I realized that I was Martha. For the last few months, I’ve been trying to earn the Father’s love through serving and trying to live a perfect life. It was so exhausting. I would become frustrated with new Christians who were so in love with Jesus and so at peace that I became bitter. I finally got to the point where I was like “Forget it. I’m not even trying anymore.” and that’s where I’ve been. But tonight the Lord reminded me what the good portion is. He is the good portion and I want Him.

It's. Not. About. You (Me).

Something that I struggle with is perfectionism. I know some of you reading this are chuckling to yourselves because you've seen how ridiculously unorganized I am, but I'm talking about perfectionism when it comes to what people see in or about me (if that makes sense?)

While I was at work on Saturday night around nine pm, I got a text from my dad asking me if I would be willing to lead worship THE NEXT MORNING. I then responded with the question "Do I have to pick the set list?" and was given the answer "Yes." As frustrated and nervous as I was, I resentfully told him that I would lead and then went about the rest of the night filled with absolute terror about what the next day had in store for me.

I didn't get home until eleven pm and I spent a good two hours or so just staring at my iTunes library wondering what on God's green earth I was going to do about picking a set list for Sunday morning's worship services. I eventually compiled a list that I considered to be barely adequate and went to bed.

I woke up on Sunday morning unrested and not in the mood to lead worship. I was CONSUMED with the fear that people were going to hate the songs that I had chosen and that the band wasn't going to be capable enough to play them on such short notice (which is lame because have you heard the Life Church worship team? There are some crazy talented people that I get to play music with.) I made it to the church about fifteen minutes before practice was supposed to start so I could print out chord charts for the band and there were (what seemed to me) problems out the wazoo. The printer kept getting jammed, my guitar wouldn't work, and I just couldn't get a hold of the songs. I kept having to stop and refigure things out and we didn't finish practicing until about three minutes before the first service was supposed to start. My heart was in absolute chaos. I just knew that I was going to lead a horrible worship service and the entire congregation was going to laugh at how terrible of a worship leader I was. As service time got closer and closer, the more I felt like I was going to throw up. I did not want to lead. I didn't want to make a fool of myself. But then somewhere in the last few seconds before the first song started, the Holy Spirit sweetly said to me, "It's not about you."

Now obviously, in my heart of hearts I knew that. But with someone with as big of an ego as me, that's a hard concept to grasp. Even when I tell myself that it's all for God's glory and that worship isn't about me, I still find myself worrying about people's perceptions and opinions about me. There are times when I feel as though I've led a "bad" worship set and I'll beat myself up over it for weeks. Something I've been learning recently though is that if you're worshiping the Lord in spirit and in truth, you're not really going to care whether or not the set list was "good" because GOD is good and HE is worthy of your praise. When your heart is focussed on His heart, you worship reflects that and makes it into something beautiful.

So yeah, that's all I've got for today. Cool. Okay bye now.

Spicy Food, Cold Showers, & Wow I'm Spoiled.

Okay, this isn't my first time in India, but I'm learning these things for the first time.

1. The food is SPICY. Like I'm from Louisiana, so I thought I'd be fine when it came to eating spicy foods. NOPE. NOPE NOPE. 
2. Safety isn't really the objective when driving. THEY DRIVE LIKE MANIACS DEAR LORD.
3. Excellent coffee. I had the best cup of coffee in my life today. BLESS.
4. Air conditioning is optional? Like you can choose between air conditioned vehicles and non-air conditioned vehicles and hotel rooms and the like.
5. Showers. Dear heavens. Last night I tried to take a shower and I had to use a bucket and hold my head under the faucet and the water was freezing and wow I'm a spoiled American.
6. I saved this one for last because it's a bit heavy. Poverty. There is so much poverty here. People are sleeping in make-shift tents in piles of garbage and are working their butts off for practically nothing. Children are sitting is disease filled water and mud and somehow still have smiles on their faces? I have taken so much for granted. Like earlier I was throwing a fit because I couldn't get connected to wifi. How disgusting is that? People have absolutely NOTHING and I find a reason to complain about not having wifi? It was definitely a wake up call.

I'm sure there will be many more lessons learned in my month here in India and I'm kinda excited to learn them.

Hot, Stinky, & Sleep Deprived

     Today's (yesterday's) the day! I'm currently on my way to India and it's been a pretty uncomfortable trip, to be honest. At 5 o'clock Monday morning my dad, brother, and myself left for Houston, Texas. Our flight left at 3:10 that afternoon and little did I know that it would be one of the most uncomfortable flights of my life. Our destination was Frankfurt, Germany and it was a ten hour flight. We were all the way in the back of the plane and the man in front of me laid his seat all the way back practically in my lap. My legs were cramped, it was hot, and I couldn't sleep. We FINALLY landed in Germany at about 2 am US Central time and then had to find our way to our terminal for our flight to Bangalore, India. The airport was even hotter than the flight up here. Not cool.

     So now I'm stinky and in about 2 hours, I will have been awake for a solid 24 hours. So that's cool. Not really. But here's to adventure and new experiences and all that jazz.

In five short days, I will be flying half-way across the world to the country of India where I will be spending a little over a month of my summer. To be honest, I don't really know what to expect. I'm kinda just jumping in and hoping for the best. I'm going to be living in a completely different world than what I'm used to and let's be real, this American girl may not be too comfortable.

But I'm excited for the growth that is going to take place outside of my comfort zone. So here's to the many exciting adventures that are about to take place and here's to all that the Father has in store.