I would give a fancy introduction to this post, but honestly I just wanted to make a list of all the things I've been thinking lately with correlating gifs so, ya know. Here ya go.
1. Friendship is hard.
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Friendship can come naturally but as you get older, it's something you have to work to maintain. Life gets busy. Jobs take up 97% of your time and the other 3% you're trying to rest so you're not exhausted at work the next day. I've always struggled with being intentional with people I want to be friends with. I guess it's my pride. I don't want to look thirsty for friendship. But let's be real. Doing life alone sucks and nobody should not have friends. So whether being intentional is just being like "Yo. Wanna go to Taco Bell?" or having friends over for dinner or whatever it may be, do it. Even if your friend tells you they're busy like 75 days in a row. Keep making an effort because friendship and community may be hard, but it's so worth it.
2. Is dating even a thing???
No but seriously. Do people actually date?? Or is it just me who is chronically single? I've seriously been asking myself this question for years now. I'm a beautiful and charming young woman. Why hasn't some dashing young man swooped in and asked me to coffee yet? What does a girl have to do to get some romantic attention around here? I'm 21 and have never had a serious boyfriend. WHAT IS GOING ON ALL OF MY FRIENDS ARE GETTING MARRIED.
3. It's okay to want a relationship!!!!
For a long time I was under the impression that desiring a romantic relationship made me weak or desperate. As I've gotten older, I've realized that's not true. I am still completely my own person and I'm strong and awesome and cool while still being single, but having a boyfriend who also thinks I'm strong and awesome and cool would be hella rad. Also kissing and hand holding. Hello.
4. It's also okay to be single!!!!
Another dumb impression I was under for a long time was that I was less valuable as a person because I didn't have a boyfriend. It made me feel unwanted and ugly (which is so dumb because look at me!! I'm a total babe) and like I was doing something wrong. But there is nothing wrong with being single!!! It's okay to not have a romantic relationship. I am strong and fierce and fabulous on my own and I don't need a man to validate that for me!!!
5. Don't be a jerk to customer service people (food service, retail, ya know)
No but seriously. After working at Starbucks for just a month, I've realized how depraved our world actually is. (I'm kinda kidding kinda not) Customers are jerks. Believe me, I will do everything in my power to make your coffee experience the best but I do not control the prices or the fact that we no longer serve the Pumpkin Spice Latte because it's MARCH. Also, I've been trained (Like I get in trouble if I don't do this) to "correct" you when you say "I'd like a large coffee" and say "A venti coffee?" Like I'm really sorry. I don't think you're dumb. I'll just get in trouble. I DON'T MAKE THE RULES PLEASE DON'T GET MAD AT ME. Working a barely above minimum wage job sucks enough as it is please be nice because we literally deal with mean customers all day long.
Also. Tip your waiters.
6. Be yourself unapologetically
Embrace who you are and love it. Find people you can be completely yourself with and stick around with them. Seriously. You have no reason to be ashamed of who you are!!! If you like to sit alone and drink a glass of wine and listen to Taylor Swift, do it and don't be embarrassed! If you like a certain subject in school a lot and you read books on it extracurricularly, don't be embarrassed!!! You are unique and special and awesome!! Own it! Don't be uncomfortable in your own skin because you are never ever going to successfully be someone else. Love yourself. Be yourself.
7. Don't be bitter over other people's joy!!
Preach it Snape. But really. For a while I found myself being bitter over all the good things happening to other people when life was just being a douche canoe to me. But I've been reminding myself that we are called to rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. Bitterness doesn't change your situation. It changes the way you see it. So chose to be joyful even when life isn't fair. Because let's be real, life is never ever going to be fair.
8. Let someone know that they've hurt you and deal with it (in a good way)
Seriously though. Something that I've always struggled with is telling someone that they've hurt me. I've always been like "Oh well! It doesn't matter!!" But that always resulted in passive aggression and bitterness. Then the person never knew that the things that they were doing were hurting my feelings, so I kept getting hurt over it. I know it's really uncomfortable to tell someone that you love that they've done something to hurt your feelings, but in the long run, it's better to get it over with so that you both can learn from it!!!
9. Graciously and apologetically deal with it when you have hurt someone
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It's so easy to become offended when someone comes to you and says "What you said/did really hurt me." I automatically act like it's their fault that they were hurt when in reality, it was probably mine. Learning to say "I'm sorry. Please forgive me" and to change the way you treat people is key.
10. Let go of things not meant for you
I don't really think this one needs much explanation. Some things in life just aren't meant for you. Let it go and move on.
11. Stop competing with other girls.
Ps to all my girls out there who have always thought that feminism was bad and man hating, it's not!!! It's all about gender equality, so please stop hating on it!!! :) But really. One of the most monumentally life changing moments in my life was when I realized that another woman's beauty and success was not the lack of my own!!! Encourage your lady friends!!!! Be like "Oh girl you look good today!!!" Because we do! Believe it or not, life isn't some popularity contest. Support your fellow ladies. Life is hard enough without being a cut throat meany pants who's so insecure that she can't handle another woman being happy and successful.
12. You don't have to wear a size 6 or smaller to be pretty.
I'm 5'8 and wear a size 14 jeans. All of my friends are like 5'4 and shorter and wear like tiny sizes. For so long I always felt like I wasn't as pretty as them simply because of the number on the inside of my jeans. I felt like I was undesirable to men. We turn on the tv and there are countless adds for weight loss programs and exercise equipment and it just makes you feel like absolute crap if you don't look like the people on the screen. But then it hit me. My beauty and my worth isn't defined by numbers on a scale or in my clothes. My beauty comes from within. So you know what? I don't have to lose weight to feel beautiful. I feel beautiful now because I am beautiful. If I want to lose weight, I'm going to do so because I want to, not because I feel like I have to to feel wanted or beautiful. Now, I'm not saying I'm fat. I know I'm not. And guess what!!! Being fat isn't an insult!!! Beauty comes in all shapes, sizes, and colors.
13. Be kind even when you don't feel like it.
I want to be remembered for my kindness. Even when people were absolutely horrible to me, I want to treat them with the kindness and goodness that Jesus showed me. Life is too short to be bitter and mean. Even if it's hard and it hurts at times, kindness and grace is so worth it.
Goodbye friends. Thanks for reading this absolutely ridiculous post.
